It had taken a long time to come to terms with
what had happened. For months I went
through acute bouts of depression, crying most of the day and long into the
night. Then for a while it would pass
and I’d begin to believe I’d accepted my loss, until the awful pain would start
all over again.
Mum was wonderful. She’d sit with me as I cried and held me
close when only the silent heartbreak was left.
“Time will heal, Joy,” she kept saying. “I promise you it will.”
I believed her. When my father had died I didn’t think she’d
ever get over it, but she had, and deep down I knew that in time I’d learn to
live without Paul and our baby.
The strange thing was when that time came I
didn’t even realise…
A few of the girls at work had insisted on
taking me out to lunch to celebrate my birthday. I’d protested at first, preferring to be on
my own, but they refused to listen and, just after one o’clock, I was sitting
in the pub with a basket of chicken and chips on my lap.
I didn’t notice Mike looking in my direction
until Sally nudged me. I felt
embarrassed and flattered at the same time.
Since Paul had died I hadn’t bothered about anyone else, now my heart
had begun to beat a little faster and my cheeks were hot.
The situation wasn’t one I was used to and I
didn’t quite know how to handle it. In
the end I concentrated hard on what the other girls were saying and tried to
ignore the admiring looks Mike was giving me.
When we got up to leave I breathed a sigh of relief. Mike’s attention had been flattering, but had
made me feel uncomfortable, too.
Later that afternoon my phone rang.
“Hello – is that Joy?”
“Yes,” I said, puzzled by the strange
voice. “Who’s that?”
“My name’s Mike Denver,” was the reply. “I saw you in the pub at lunchtime, only I
didn’t have the courage to talk to you with all your friends around.”
“How...how did you know my name and where to
ring me then?” I asked.
It was crazy but my heart was beating with
excitement and my voice was beginning to tremble.
“I asked one of your friends as you were
leaving,” Mike explained. “I hope you
didn’t mind me ringing you, Joy. I know
it’s a cheek, but I’d like to get to know you.”
Suddenly I knew I wanted to get to know Mike,
as well, so when he asked me to go out with him that night, I accepted. Mum was thrilled when I told her, and without
actually saying so we both knew I was ready to start facing life again...
From our first date Mike and I got on really
well. I felt at ease with him, and it
wasn’t long before I could talk about Paul without the pain and
heartbreak. The night I told Mike about
the accident he was kind and understanding.
“We were going to be married,” I said with a
quick smile. “In fact the wedding was
only a couple of weeks away. We’d been
out to celebrate that night...” I’d paused
there for some reason not wanting to tell Mike that the reason for the
celebration meal was that I’d just found out I was going to have Paul’s
baby. “Anyway, on the way home a truck
came careering across the road. There
was no way it could have missed us...”
Mike’s arm was around my shoulder and as I
finished speaking he pulled me nearer.
“You must have loved Paul very much,” he said
quietly.
I nodded.
“Yes, I did,” I whispered. “But it’s all in the past now, and I can’t
bring it back.”
Mike held me for a moment without saying a
word, and in the silence we seemed to grow closer together. I suppose I should
have told him about the baby then, but it was early in our relationship and I
didn’t see what it would achieve.
Anyway, losing my baby was such a painful memory I still found it hard
to talk about…
Gradually the past began to fade, and the
future seemed more welcoming. Mike had
eased me away from the dark days and taught me how to live again. He helped me accept it had happened and to
look forward to the future – whatever it held.
It was a while before I realised how much I’d
begun to enjoy life again. Mike was good
to be with and the more I saw of him the happier I felt. Suddenly I was having fun again, and Mike was
the reason.
“It’s as though we're made for each other,
Joy,” he told me once. His eyes were
shining and he was smiling happily.
“Maybe we are,” I replied softly, and as Mike
kissed me I couldn’t deny the emotions I felt inside. For the second time in my life I’d fallen
deeply in love, and it was a wonderful feeling…
It was something I thought would never happen
to me again but it had, and the happiness it brought was overwhelming. When Mike asked me to marry him I didn’t
hesitate in saying yes
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